the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
this is an emotional support booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize