just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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