the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Randomize
