he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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