Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wish my penis had a tongue
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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