God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
