so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We named our party play list daddy issues
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
