So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
