Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
