He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
