Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
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You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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