Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize