he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize