fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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