I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
