I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
