Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
