I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
bring money and cleavage
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.