My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy