I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.