Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.

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(434): There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically. http://tfl.nu/76cj

Replies (25) Good night (13884) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.

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(201): I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom. http://tfl.nu/i9mn

Replies (10) Good night (393) Bad night (1816) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.

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(206): Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability. http://tfl.nu/ef1b

Replies (15) Good night (1776) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt
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(605): View more from South Dakota

you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?

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(605): you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out? http://tfl.nu/fgrz

Replies (59) Good night (9474) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.

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(519): I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was. http://tfl.nu/2sao

Replies (12) Good night (4396) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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(623): View more from Arizona

My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.

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(623): My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck. http://tfl.nu/ymmz

Replies (24) Good night (4238) Bad night (2020) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.

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(610): Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss. http://tfl.nu/sd0l

Replies (11) Good night (4643) Bad night (739)
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(+86): View more from China

Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.

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(+86): Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported. http://tfl.nu/uoj6

Replies (10) Good night (5575) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning

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(414): I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning http://tfl.nu/2xis

Replies (12) Good night (1901) Bad night (1029) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?

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(917): I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really? http://tfl.nu/2oxm

Replies (15) Good night (959) Bad night (4838) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.

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(508): I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played. http://tfl.nu/k248

Replies (4) Good night (1199) Bad night (350)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds

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(252): I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds http://tfl.nu/g7b7

Replies (5) Good night (813) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.

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(502): Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home. http://tfl.nu/5iun

Replies (15) Good night (428) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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(218): View more from Minnesota

legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20

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(218): legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20 http://tfl.nu/k23v

Replies (11) Good night (239) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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(559): View more from California

Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.

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(559): Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests. http://tfl.nu/zkju

Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (119)

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