Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.