hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
