I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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