Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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