Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
