i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize