it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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