God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
