I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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