he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
