Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
