the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
