she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
