...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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