I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
