Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
