You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
