i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
