it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
