you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
