420 ftw
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
