I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Jerry, you need to find god
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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