on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
