she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How external is "for external use only"?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
