Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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