I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
