Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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