it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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