The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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