Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
