i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
