You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Help. Why am I so naked?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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