I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
