My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
