the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Someone shattered a urinal.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
