I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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