You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize