my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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