My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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