my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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