Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
